The Return To Innocence

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Adam has been in pain since Friday. He did something to his right foot. Pulled a muscle or a tendon or who knows. He can't walk on his heel without severe pain, and it also hurts when he's resting. He says it's swollen and the pain is stabbing. He may have done some damage when he wore flat boots (instead of his cowboy boots) two days before that, for the first time in three months. It might be Plantar Fasciitis, judging from the exact part of the foot he indicates. The more I research it, the more I think that's what it is.
We tried to schedule a doctor's appointment for today, but -- and I still don't understand this -- none of the doctors were in the office, out sick or on vacation or something. Adam went in anyway, got referred to get an X-Ray, was told there was no visible damage, and came home to spend the rest of his day off still in pain. At one point he asked me to find a new doctor. He has anti-inflammatories and pain medication at least. I suppose that was all the doctor could have done anyway before referring him to an orthopedist
And on Thursday, he has to drive to St. Louis, Missouri -- injured foot or not. He'll be there for about a week. Which means that even if we could get to an orthopedist, he wouldn't have time.

Frustration and stress in me. Helplessness. We don't know what's wrong. I wish I knew what was wrong. I wish it were easy.

Last night I had a nocturnal complex partial seizure. Those can be terrifying. At 2:30, I woke up in hideous confusion and near panic with the top of my head burning and my brain feeling exhausted and overheated. I don't remember anything else until the alarm went off. I literally stumbled into work. I'm fatigued beyond anything but I don't want to go home.

I need to breathe. Bad stress. I can't do anything for my husband now. Stupid doctors. Stupid feet getting injured. Stupid humanity.


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